Many children who experience loss of, or separation from, a parent; abuse, neglect, attention deficit disorder, or painful illness, develop behavior problems - including lying, oppositional behavior, underachieving at school, sabotaging relationships, and not taking responsibility for their actions (which do not respond to traditional parenting and teaching techniques such as rewarding or punishing). They do not respond because they are the outward signs of underlying emotional problems involving impairment in the ability to become emotionally attached to others; a strong need to be in control of situations which they express by breaking rules and making people angry; low self-esteem, strong anger, developmental delays in maturity, negative self defeating attitudes, and selfish values. It is crucial to work on these emotional problems, not just on rewarding and punishing the behavior.
Children learn much quicker if they can see, feel and experience what is being worked on. If these problems are not worked on and resolved in childhood and adolescence, they will adversely affect adulthood relationships, including relationships with spouses and children. |
